Posts

Myself in Malmo

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I write this post whilst on a train from Malmo to Stockholm after spending the last 5 weeks guest teaching at a wonderful studio there; Hot Yoga Malmo.. It is only now as I sit still with myself that I am able to reflect on my time spent there. It really is funny how things work out.. I am reminded once again how I must always, always, always trust in the universe as it always takes care of me when I allow and don't force it. Just two months ago I was feeling pretty unaligned and out of sorts as so many things in my personal life were changing and I found myself literally living in the yoga studio with no windows after moving out of our flat, all my belongings locked up in a storage unit after having just waved my girlfriend off to the other side of the world… It always happens like this; all together at the same time.
And so I found myself alone in the yoga studio, searching for spare rooms to rent and trying to plan how I was going to go to visit Beth in Australia for the christma…

Returning to the source..

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I have recently returned home having spent the summer in Berlin deepening my teaching knowledge. What an incredible time it has been… When my best friend Sam from my home studio in Leeds decided he was going to take the leap and sign up for the Hot Yoga Teacher Training with Evolation (the same as I previously did) I was flirting with the idea of going out to join him and the Evolation Yoga family for a week or so, I chatted with the company founder Mark about it, and knowing I wanted to do the flow training, he suggested I join them for the full course and complete my second 250hour Teacher Training with them..  it was a little tricky to find the time and resources to make possible but somehow the universe conspired to help me and I found myself here, completing the vinyasa flow training (a different style for those non-yoga people!) just one year after my first TT! 
Something I always repeat and hold close to myself is ‘The student is always the teacher, and the teacher is always t…

Realisation.

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I had a realisation today.

Maybe I learnt to let go of the bitterness, maybe I finally learnt to let go of the attachment to the pain I have experienced.. But today I thought about what I have been through and I felt gratitude.
I realised this pain was my becoming... The pain was my purification, my awakening to myself and to my karmic duty here on Earth.

I went through years and years of self-abuse, destruction and pain. I used to feel a victim of my illness, I used to feel angry about it.. "why me?'
But I am no longer bitter about what happened to me, I realise now all of this was a blessing. This experience was such an essential part of my journey. If I had not experienced this, If I had not broken myself completely; I would never have learnt how to rebuild myself into the person I am today.

This person is now here to serve and heal others, to teach others from what I have learnt. I now know happiness and peace; but I am only able to realise and appreciate that because I h…

To Be Radical; To Love Yourself.

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I recently had my sister stay over for the weekend with the twins, my niece and nephew, Lilia and Jude, they are three years old and absolutely wonderful little humans. So kind-hearted and innocent and loving.
Lilia is the most beautiful little girl I've ever known, in every aspect of the word.  Whilst my sister was getting jude ready in the bathroom, I was upstairs with Lilia helping dry and plait her hair. We sat together infront of my mirror as I plaited her hair and she sat cross-legged looking at herself in the mirror. The whole time she simply sat and looked inquisitively at herself as she pulled silly faces and grinned at her reflection in the mirror and pulled back her dressing gown and giggled at her nakedness beneath. I smiled with her and giggled along, pulling silly faces at each other and messing about.. but out of nowhere came a sudden rush of emotions and I just had wrap her up in my arms and kiss her half-plaited head and tell her how much I loved her as I choked bac…

Goa, India

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We are almost halfway through our Indian adventure, having spent the last two weeks exploring Goa and it's beautiful beautiful beaches, it is just three more days until we buckle up our backpacks and head north to delve deeper into 'real India'.
Goa has been beautiful, relaxing for the most part, and the perfect way to ease ourselves into our travels here in this multi-sensory country.  We arrived here at the start of Febuary where we checked into our first hostel bleary eyed at 2am and crashed into our (rock solid!) bunks, we awoke to the warmest of welcomes from some of my other half, Bethany's best friends who are also travelling Goa right now, meeting here wasn't necessarily planned but what a wonderful coincidence it has been... we have spent most of the last two weeks exploring, relaxing and partying with them.. A few days later we moved into a guest house and some more of her friends arrived after weeks trecking the Himalayas.. how special it is to all be toge…

January 10th

January 10th
The date, cemented in my memory.  January 10th. Exactly four years ago, to the day, that I was admitted to Inpatient Hospital for treatment for my eating disorder. Four years on, and although the date looms upon me with the same waves of nausea and anxiety I had prior to my admission, and the memories of hospital still appear in my nightmares.. They are bearable in comparison to the nightmare of a life consumed by anorexia I suffered prior to this date 4 years ago.
As the anniversary of my admission comes around, each year I have reflected with different emotions. At first, the illness was still present in my mind and would make me feel guilty, for starting to get better and ignore her more and more. But this year as January 10th comes around, I am reminding myself to be proud, to be grateful to myself for saving myself, for learning to be kind to myself and stop the daily torture. I am writing a letter to my younger self... If I knew then what I have learnt through this …

Today more than ever..

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Today more than ever I just want to remind you your happiness is built within.

Today more than ever I want us to remember that nobody else is responsible for our inner peace but ourselves. No other person, no body of power, no authority, no government.. not the most powerful corporation in the world has the ability to take away our inner light.

Every one of us has the power to create our own world. Inside of each of us is a divine place which no other person has the ability to affect. Once we learn to connect deeply to our centre, our internal and eternal happiness; everything that happens outside of us is just that. . . External. Momentary.

Our happiness depends upon our love for ourself.. we have to prioritise ourselves and to learn to connect to our truest self. Once we do that we can easily establish that which brings us happiness and that which does not. The rest is simple... create space for more of the good and eliminate that which does not serve us.
Just as I teach on the mat.…