Expand...

Wow wow wow. 

What in incredible experience I have received today... 

Today is Saturday and the last day of our first week here at teacher training, it was also our first 'expand' class here with Zefea. Expand class is a different type of class to the usual hot 90.. its 2 hours  long and incorporates lots of different elements, it has a lot of similarities to the intermediate and advanced bikram classes, but also has some flows and moon salutations which were really wonderful to do after a very intense and focused week.

It felt a lot like playtime and it really allowed me to free myself up throughout the practice. Zefea is an incredible woman... her energy is earthly and supportive, I felt very safe and centred. So when it came to the end part of our practice we did a deep backbending series... 

heart openers can often be very emotional for a lot of people and today it really came out. 

Zefea led us into the backbending section with a very mindful approach; making sure we focused our awareness to our Self.. to move together in and out of the postures, with conscious breath.. it really began to create an incredible energy in the room moving together in this way. When we finally reached the last backbend we slowly moved down to the floor and put our foreheads to the ground in Childs Pose... I felt the centre of my forehead connect with the mat and allowed all the energy of the earth in through that point, we then turned around and rested in final Savasana while Zefea said her final words. She thanked us for accepting her invitation to join her for the Expand class and then ended by reading a Poem Called The Invitation by Oriah Mountain. This poem, and what I experienced while it was being recited will stay with me forever. It was one of those moment I know I will never forget. I laid there, with my heart completely open and absorbed every word like it was written just for me. It was a very powerful emotional experience.

 

..Everything that has come up over the first week here, the energy of my fellow trainees, the enormity of what we are doing, issues from my personal life, everything.. all came spilling out like a fountain I had no control over. Yet is wasn't one specific emotion, like hurt or pain or even tears of joy... it was just pure emotion. Ive not ever really quite experienced anything lie that. It really was a momentous moment, laying there in Savasana with the tears streaming out of me and my heart feeling like it was physically opened up to the entire universe... almost as though I could feel the vibrations and waves flowing in and out through my chest. It didn't feel like I was in my own body at all, it took me a long time to feel able to come out and bring myself back into the room and able to stand up and carry on with the day; because it felt like I had been cracked right open and every vulnerability was out infront of me. But I let it come out, with out fear or what ifs... I simply surrendered to it all, and that was an incredibly healing process. 

I want to share with you the poem Zefea shared with us today... I won't suggest you practice some deep backbends and heart openers right now before you read it, but perhaps take a second to breath, clear your mind and quieten the chatter..

Then you can really absorb. 

Namaste x

The Invitation

By Oriah Mountain Dreamer

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, or fade it, or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty every day. And if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, 'Yes.'

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.