Mr. Right

Dear potential tinder date - No, your 'moment' with the title 'bored' will NOT make me want to come and take away your boredness, nor will it make me weak at the knees, EVEN if your moment also includes abs, tattoos and a beard. 
The only thing this will make me want to do is 'unmatch' you. My life has zero amount of boredom in it these days, on my own I am whole already... I am not looking for someone to fill a void or end my boredom or take away my unhappiness. All I would like is someone to be in love with. That is very different.
I want realness and actual emotions, not a virtual relationship or meaningless sex. 

That is how I found myself on Tinder... With hope that perhaps a little bit of proactive behaviour could result in broadening my chances of meeting someone else who is also, not just looking for a one night stand or a trophy girlfriend. 
Instead I find myself sat here, swiping aimlessly and wondering to myself how on earth I found myself at this point. Ultimately, belief in true love I suppose. I do not wish to settle for mediocre, 'it'll do' romance... I desire deep, passionate, exciting, fairytale love. I know that sounds far-fetched, but who am I not to believe I am worthy of my deepest desire? I have not given up that childhood idea of a Prince Charming.. Just as I have rekindled my childhood excitement for life and for believing in dreams; I have also accepted that only true love will do. Any less and I just simple cannot be content.
But belief that my Mr.Right is at the end of his phone, also swiping in hope he will find me is just plain ridiculous. I come to realise; my Mr.Right will find me.. Naturally, without all this virtual-input. 


I recently came across the writing of Jack Kerouac, and in his book On The Road is the quote above.. I think it's beautiful. And something relatable to all this I've been feeling whilst battling my questionable-swiping-habit.. 
I am not looking for a bored, half-dressed guy that's good at taking a selfie. Infact, actually.. I am no longer looking at all. I don't think I ever was, I was just curious. Instead I am remembering to breathe and let go and trust in the beautiful natural journey of life. Everything that is destined to be, will be.. At it's right time and right place. 
Until then, I am glad to have reminded myself that I am already whole, that I have the right to believe in my dreams.. And that I am worthy of my deepest desires.

Keep the faith. Trust the process. Live and let go.

With love x

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