Dear potential tinder date - No, your 'moment' with the title 'bored' will NOT make me want to come and take away your boredness, nor will it make me weak at the knees, EVEN if your moment also includes abs, tattoos and a beard. The only thing this will make me want to do is 'unmatch' you. My life has zero amount of boredom in it these days, on my own I am whole already... I am not looking for someone to fill a void or end my boredom or take away my unhappiness. All I would like is someone to be in love with. That is very different. I want realness and actual emotions, not a virtual relationship or meaningless sex. That is how I found myself on Tinder... With hope that perhaps a little bit of proactive behaviour could result in broadening my chances of meeting someone else who is also, not just looking for a one night stand or a trophy girlfriend. Instead I find myself sat here, swiping aimlessly and wondering to myself how on earth I found myself at this poi...
I was talking recently with a good friend about mindfulness and useful tools for recovery and wanted to share some of the things I feel about the whole 're-wiring' of our brain we have to do when we're dealing with overcoming mental battles. It really is a matter of reminding our brain how to think again. Reminding it of which are positive and and which are negative thought patterns; and that then enables us to make better, more helpful choices in the thoughts we listen to and absorb and which we hush, which ultimately means we end up having more positive thoughts overall. Also, it's about treating ourselves or ' our mind ' in the same way we would treat somebody else.. We would never say; you don't deserve this, you can't handle it, you're a failure, you never do anything right, you're a bad person etc to someone else (without very good reason!) so why do we find it okay to do that to ourselves? We deserve the kindness we give other people ....
I was sitting here this morning with many thoughts fleeting through my mind, as they often do.. And I realised I have all these words in my mind but have remarkably not thought to put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) for such a long time. For a significant part of the year I found my deepest solace in the traditional paper journal, over the first 4 months of this year I must have filled around 5 or 6 thick journals, sometimes writing for the most part of the day, and night sometimes also when my thoughts disallowed me of sleep. Of course, this was during a very difficult time.. And writing was my greatest release, and over those pages I provided myself the best therapy one could find. I learnt to listen to my heart. Writing is the most honest thing you can do, the words come out pure and true. And prior to that I always had a casual journal on the go, or the infrequent blog post at the least.. However, since then I went on modelling trips to China for the summer, then London and c...
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