Hola.

Well, when I said Barcelona had won my heart... I wasn't exaggerating, I wasn't home a month before I had my flight booked back out here!

So last night I touched back down in this magical city and that little piece of my picture slipped back into place... I felt like I'd arrived home.

I had a wonderful break; Christmas and New Year slipped by in a dreamy haze of happiness... It really was, the best I've had in a long, long time. There was a lot of reasons which contributed to this holiday being such a happy one... The main thing I think for me being the difference inside my own mind, but Im sure everyone in my family would also say that this Christmas was filled with a lot of positivity. It's amazing what just a year can do.

I can't even begin to explain the difference just 365 days can bring, this time last year things were very, very different.

So yes, it was an amazing break.. But those wings of mine had started to itch the last few days, I was certainly happy when I had the call from my agent to say the time had come to pack my little black wardrobe and book into my (new I might add :-p) suitcase and take to the skies again. 

It's becoming more and more apparent to me that the more you truly want and believe in something, the more accessible it becomes. I used to be one of those that dreamed of a life where I would get those types of calls saying I was 'wanted in Barcelona ASAP!'... Until I started believing it was the life I deserved to live.. And now, it's reality. And I couldn't be happier, I love never quite knowing what's around the corner, what new adventure is on the agenda and which part of this huge world I may get the chance to discover next. It's, well as I said.. A dream. 

For me at least, this isn't a life for everyone... I know many who simply wouldn't enjoy it, they'd find it unnerving and would hate being uprooted just when life is starting to feel comfortable.. it certainly isn't a life for those that need routine, stability and safety.

This job that on the surface seems entirely desirable, A Model.. Ooh how glamourous! Yes, oh so glamorous when you're a million miles from home, it's a month or more since you last saw your family and friends, you miss them.. you're probably sleep deprived and hungry, your feet hurt and you're lost searching for castings in a city that may as well be Timbuktu . But you must look beautiful. 

It's tough. Actually a lot tougher than most people assume. Some markets more than others.. But that's by the by, what I'm getting at is that just like any profession, it has it's drawbacks as well as it's desires, and it ISN'T for everyone..

But is IS for me, I happen to thrive on it. Never before have I felt more me than since I've started living this life I dreamt of. 

It can be hard, but I love the feeling when I come through it, when I've been pushed mentally and physically.. And survived, even come out stronger.

I think that is what has been the biggest factor in creating that peace I'm discovering inside myself. Learning to know what is it that I want and need in my life to be happy. To live simply, take away all the frills and search only for happiness, find out what it is that makes you feel like you, it is the best way one can discover who is it they truly are. 

For me that took many things, some very, very hard times.. But one big and more exciting time for me was going all the way to China and being worked like a robot; an always beautiful robot that never complains or questions the sometimes unbelievable demands.. Sometimes I would cry at just how ridiculous the expectations were, how on earth I would make it through that day/night. It made me find my strength, and fast! 

It was torture at times.. But I survived and I came back a hundred times the person that went. And it is that growth that I crave, to better myself. There is nothing more satisfying. 

(So much so that I'm about to sign my contract to go back to that mad Chinese world for another 2 months this spring.. Call me crazy!)

But right now I am here in my favourite city of all time, soaking up every moment.. Because I remember how blessed I am to be living the life I dreamt of. 

Dream it, Believe it, Live it.

With love x