To Be Radical; To Love Yourself.

I recently had my sister stay over for the weekend with the twins, my niece and nephew, Lilia and Jude, they are three years old and absolutely wonderful little humans. So kind-hearted and innocent and loving.

Lilia is the most beautiful little girl I've ever known, in every aspect of the word. 

Whilst my sister was getting jude ready in the bathroom, I was upstairs with Lilia helping dry and plait her hair. We sat together infront of my mirror as I plaited her hair and she sat cross-legged looking at herself in the mirror. The whole time she simply sat and looked inquisitively at herself as she pulled silly faces and grinned at her reflection in the mirror and pulled back her dressing gown and giggled at her nakedness beneath. I smiled with her and giggled along, pulling silly faces at each other and messing about.. but out of nowhere came a sudden rush of emotions and I just had wrap her up in my arms and kiss her half-plaited head and tell her how much I loved her as I choked back a massive lump in my throat. 

..All of a sudden I saw my three year old self sat there, and all the terrible things I later told myself each time I looked at my naked self in the mirror. All the hate, all the abuse I subjected myself to. I felt so sad, so sorry for the little girl inside me whose innocence I stole and trampled upon when I told myself such hateful things. I could never, ever say such terrible things to this little angel sat infront of me, yet I told myself abuse every day for many years. 

I realised that this wonderful, innocent, inquisitive three year old girl sat infront of me is so perfect exactly as she is, just as I was too, and she must never, ever, ever think any differently. And I realised how desperately I want to protect this baby girl, to never, ever let her think anything but wonderful things of herself. How I wished I could have protected the little girl inside of me. How I wish I could have told her then all the things I know now.

I have been through the darkest of times with my relationship to myself and my body, I have suffered immense pain. But if theres one good thing that come out of it, it is this… 

One day, I will teach my baby girl just as my sister will teach Lilia everything we have learnt from my experience… to love and appreciate every inch of her beautiful little being, exactly the way it is, empower her to practice shameless self-love and be strong enough to never let anyone tell her differently.

Little girls today have so much pressure on them to be a certain someone or look a certain way. Lets encourage the next generation of females to be radical and love themselves and their bodies just exactly the way that nature intended. To still look at themselves with the same beautiful eyes that Lilia looked at herself that day in my mirror, despite whatever society tells them. 

Beauty comes from within, from loving yourself and all your silly faces and all of your nakedness, just exactly the way you are.

With love x