Hello old friend..

I was sitting here this morning with many thoughts fleeting through my mind, as they often do.. And I realised I have all these words in my mind but have remarkably not thought to put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) for such a long time.

For a significant part of the year I found my deepest solace in the traditional paper journal, over the first 4 months of this year I must have filled around 5 or 6 thick journals, sometimes writing for the most part of the day, and night sometimes also when my thoughts disallowed me of sleep.

Of course, this was during a very difficult time.. And writing was my greatest release, and over those pages I provided myself the best therapy one could find. I learnt to listen to my heart. Writing is the most honest thing you can do, the words come out pure and true.

And prior to that I always had a casual journal on the go, or the infrequent blog post at the least..

However, since then I went on modelling trips to China for the summer, then London and currently Barcelona, and life has been moving at such a pace.. And perhaps these days my mind has more peace, less thoughts invading my days and holding me back which I seek to release into words.

But for some reason I haven't found myself needing that calm that writing provides.

This morning however, I missed it. And without my pen and paper I find myself here. Blogging.

So, I write and it is good. Maybe later I will share some more about my travels, but for now it is just nice to write. 

It is funny that I mention 'calm' and the fact that perhaps I have less of a need for that calm that writing provides.. Because recently I have been referred to as 'calming' by several people. This is not something I ever thought I would be considered.. But it is true, these days there is a lot more calm. I am learning to find peace within myself, and that is a very great lesson.

Now it is okay when it is bad, when things go wrong and I'm having a 'bad day', when the world feels cruel and difficult to be apart of..

Now it is okay. Because I accept these bad times as part of the process. And as a dear friend once taught me - To trust in the process.

Because the process of life requires balance. And so the good requires the bad, just as the light requires the dark and the day requires the night.  

And so when it is dark, and it feels cold and black.. I remember, it will be okay, and the sun will come up again and the balance will be restored.

But you have to trust.

Have faith in positivity and nothing feels so terrible anymore. 

It's a long lesson, but one I'm thankful I have found to seek.

With love x