Sky high.
The second reason is that it is, I feel, a rather suitable way to describe my current state of mind.
The last week has been completely chaotic, but it creates an excitement that I crave.. My energy for life feels electric. In my last post i was preparing to fly back home to the UK for what I expected to be a few weeks of calm at home preparing for my upcoming trip to China; but come the following Tuesday I found out I'd confirmed a TVC job back in Barcelona and need to fly out asap. Which I did, and by the Thursday lunchtime I was back in my favourite city, which was strange as when I left I'd had a funny feeling it wasn't really adios!
I then had a busy few days working in Barca and next thing I knew I was hurtling my way across more new Spanish ground towards Madrid for 4 days work, which actually turned out to be one of the best jobs in a while.. One where everything is enjoyable.. Even when the work is tiring and you've been on set for 20+ hours, it's gone midnight and THEN they pull the trampoline scene out!.. When the people and the energy are amazing, and the end result expected to be incredible; of course you want to be there.
Yesterday saw my birthday, which I spent travelling back to Barcelona and then filming the next Smart car commercial on a rooftop looking out over BCN as the sun set in the evening.. And no, there was no birthday cava for me that day, but to be honest, I didn't mind that one bit. I was completely content with how it was spent.. Doing all the things that make me happy, in the spanish sun and knowing the next day I was heading home to my family.. It wasn't how I had imagined my 25th birthday to be, but it was special all in its own right.
And actually, I was perfectly happy spending it all on my own.. I really have become quite adapt to being happy with just myself for company.
And so yes, life sky-high is rather a rollercoaster, but even when I have no idea what is next except how to get to the location of my next fitting, it's okay, I don't need to know anymore. I am quite happy in the simplicity of having work, a good book in my bag and loved ones to talk to at the end of the day. I am quite happy in the simplicity of the present.
I have learnt that the key to happiness is constantly moving in the direction of your dreams and your destiny, whilst living each moment and each stage that gets you there fully. Finding the beauty in the smaller things, the encounters you make with kind souls, the way the sun is setting or the appreciation of something you enjoy, finding this beauty every day is essential to living. No day should be a 'pointless' insignificant day, infact, the 'bad' days are often those that serve to teach us the most. Find the divinity in all aspects of life and your days will be more rewarding. Moving forward is about learning to accept the past for what it is, see what it taught you and how it has helped bring you to where you are today, do that and even the most difficult experiences can be understood.
I'm currently reading a brilliant book by Robin S. Sharma called The Monk that Sold his Ferrari, and in it the character Yogi Raman puts it this way: 'There are no mistakes in life, only lessons. There is no such thing as a negative experience, only opportunities to grow, learn and advance along the road of self-mastery. From struggle comes strength. Even pain can be a wonderful teacher.'
It is a great comfort understanding this, it makes me feel unafraid of life and all of its lessons.
I wouldn't be here, able to travel and live out my dreams of seeing the world working as model if I hadn't first had to learn what it is to appreciate the good when it comes along. It takes some darkness to see that light.
Everything happens for a reason.
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