Watch it bloom.

The last few weeks have been interesting for me... I'm back in England where the weather is decidedly less tropical and my shoes get wet a lot more often, but the advantage is that here I am closer to all the people I love... I can reconnect and that is a wonderful. I've had some lovely time with my sisters and some close friends.

However, I haven't taken advantage of being closer to my loved ones as much perhaps as I expected to have... So firstly I want to apologise to those I haven't seen since I came back. But I can only put that down to a mixture of logistics and my requirement actually for a little personal time right now. Some inner-growth is beginning to flower; some that needs nurturing and listening to carefully so that it can grow.. Into what I'm not quite sure and sometimes the magnitude of where our minds are able to go can be quite overwhelming, but I am at a point where my mind is exploring.. 

It knows there is more to life than my eyes currently see, there is more to learn. And I want to learn. My heart, my mind and soul are craving more.. This everyday life was never enough, hence why I seek. I seek more minds like mine. More experiences. More time spent growing. I want every day to be a day of success in some degree. I want to lay in bed each night and think - 'That was a great day'. 

And it's completely attainable.. WHY should 'perfect' or ideal days be something un achievable, something we feel we can't have almost every day?? News flash - we can.

But we have to be pro-active about this: first we have to think about 'how would this perfect day feel?' Once we have a feeling associated we can start to work out what is is we can do to achieve this feeling.. So say you want to feel satisfaction, perhaps that you have created or contributed to something... Well then you have to start including more things in your life where you are creating or doing something you are proud of. Even if that is creating a really special meal each evening for yourself/your partner/parent/children/friends, it's SOMETHING that you have consciously decided to do to provide reward. 

So you start including more things in your day which bring good feelings. You're contributing to more experiences. And nine times out of ten, this will involve connecting with another. Connection is the next step to creating more fulfilling days.. We have to have connection to others to feed our soul. We may be our only king, and I'm all about self-strength, but alone we can only ever walk straight ahead... To be able to skip and jump and fly we need others. We have to open our hearts and let others join us in our journey. Alone we simply glide through; yes is is easier and sometimes less painful, but it is the lesser path; it is less vibrant, less complex, less fulfilling. People bring colour to our lives, and we have to hold our hand out and allow our worlds to be filled with the muddle of colours these people bring; we need to sit and watch as all their pigments flood in and swirl up in messy puddles inside our hearts, covering the splits and cracks with their layers of colour. This beautiful colourful mess is LIFE. People and the colours they bring to our days are what life is really about, we give, we receive, we feel and we grow because of it. Without that we risk monotone existence. 

But connection is much more than having people around you, it's not just sitting next to the same person each night infront of the telly or eating lunch with them everyday... It's opening yourself up to these people, it's letting them in and letting yourself into their world too. It's sharing, it's talking, it's listening, it's empathy, it's all the emotions that one can only experience when shared with another being. It's a beautiful part of life which when we consciously give time to can be incredibly rewarding. 

Next, how would you be? What would your character be like? What sort of person would you be?.. When you know know the type of person you want to be, know the kind of character you want others to know you as. Now, and from now on... Only ever be that person. There is no excuse for being less of the person than you desire to be.

So now we have feelings, connection and self; we have to visualise. What does this perfect day look like? How would you spend your ideal day? What would happen? Visualising how you would ideally spend your days is how you visualise how you want your life to be. If it isn't flipping burgers in a burger-bar and that's what you're doing with your days right now.. Then you need to quit that job right now and go after that is it you really want from life. See the things you want to see, go the places you want to go, meet the people you want to meet. And if it IS flipping burgers everyday in a burger-bar; and that's what you're doing, then GREAT! Love what you do and be proud, these are the most important things.

Now all that's left is to go after those things, once we can see what is it we want and who we want to be and we know how we want to feel.. We have to seek them. Every day, not just save them for 'perfect days' but go about making them happen every day. Make every day special, make every day rewarding. Make sure you go to bed every night and think, 'that was a great day.' Okay, I backstep here.. Not every day, because we are all going to have bad days, or difficult days... But we can make conscious effort to turn those wishy-washy-nothing-days into special days. 

Make a bucket list and start ticking it off. 'Today I swam naked for the first time', 'Today I learnt my neighbours name', 'Today I walked barefoot in the rain.' Write them down, be proud, know you are making your days richer. Know you are colouring your world. 

And as for the difficult or 'bad' days; it is important to have them, to experience them and stay present and peaceful within that. Accept pain, difficulties, nagativity, hardship.. Feel those things and keep going, keep hope and balance will work its magic again.

This is what has been developing in my mind the last few weeks, this time at home has given me time and space to indulge in this awareness of self. I've been connecting with what it is to feel, what it is to control our thoughts and our minds, in turn how that controls our life. We can achieve great things with the power over our thoughts; a little mindfulness goes a long, long way. 

Being mindful is a skill, a skill I am working on improving.. I consider my thoughts these days, I challenge them, I am aware of the actions I take and the words I speak and how not only that affects the people around me, but most importantly, how that affects myself. I am reminded here of the Buddhist quote: 'What you think, you become.'

Think good thoughts, make good actions and good things will come to you.

Remember, if you want a garden full of flowers and life and colour.. You need to tend to the weeds, clear out the debrise, plant seeds and then water and care for them every day.

Give care and attention to your days and your life will bloom. 

With love x