A lesson in quietening the chatter.

So yesterday was a very intense day for us here at teacher training, it's reached a point where the pressure really is on to get the dialogue memorised quickly as we've moved on to teaching two postures per day in teaching clinic; yet we only have a few hours per day to study, that mainly being at night when sleep would be much preferred.. So by this point, we're all pretty physically exhausted, sleep deprived and generally brain-fried from all the other information we're receiving all day in lectures and posture mechanics.

I also got my period which for most of the day I listened to my lower S self tell me I could use as an excuse to feel sorry for myself, 'oh woe is me, is that cramps I feel? Oh probably, oh poor me...' So on and so forth. It wasn't until nearly 9pm when I was faced with my second class of the day, and I was near breaking point... I'd been struggling to keep my eyes open in study period and the LAST thing my 'self' wanted to do was do a late night practice.. 'To music'.. 😒 

Class begun, I dragged by body to my mat, suddenly the room is dark and lights flashing and the teacher Helene is dancing about to some mad music whilst I'm there, sweat dripping into my eyes trying to find something to focus on in this darkness to stop myself from falling on my face.. 

'These crazy French people, this is not yoga, how is this helpful to my journey..' My ego was giving me all sorts of rubbish, monkey mind chit chattering away, all the stories.

Suddenly I made the connection, everything I'd been learning about turned on a big switch in my mind.... 

I remembered the yoga Sutra that translates as 'learn to control the fluxuations of the mind'. 

My mind was being distracted by all these physical, external elements which really, in the grand scheme of things, mean nothing... My true Self doesn't care if my body is tired or sore, or if I've got my period and I want to throw my water bottle at the teacher.. My true Self only honours the good.

What is the good here? I am here, on my mat, dedicating time to myself. That's all that matters... Even if it's not a style of yoga I feel I usually make most connection with; I'm going to embrace it, I'm here now so that's all I will be... Here now and present.

Once I let go, I felt an incredible sense of freedom... My fellow trainees and I shared space and energy and really let go... We moved intuitively, without the usual rules that go with bikram yoga... And actually, I discovered 'yoga with music' was exactly what I needed in this present moment. I learnt to create space where before there was not space. It challenged me out of my comfort zone and reminded me to always be open. With an open body, an open heart and an open mind. We can reach higher levels of being.

Before this class I did not know how it was to experience this, and so I surrender to that.. And now I have learnt from how that makes me feel. Everything is a lesson. Everything is part of the journey.

Especially the parts we think are the less important.

Here's a photo from after the class... I'm in Standing Bow with two of my wonderful fellow trainees and friends here in Standing Head to Knee Pose and Balancing Stick.. I feel so grateful for these beautiful souls and how much we uplift each other.. this yoga journey  brings so many incredible people into my life and for that I will always be humble. 

With love, Namasté X